The title of this peice is in deference to one of our very own Talbot County residents, Meg Olmert. Meg dedicated 15 years of her career studying the biology of the human-animal bond. I bought her book and devoured its contents the year it was published (2009). The title of the book is Made for Each Other. Her research was the catalyst in my journey to understanding my deep connection with animals and my exoneration (more later).
In 1995 I had just moved from Pasadena, California to Columbus, Ohio. The move was work related. When learning of my new position both geographically and professionally I immediately bought a house (6 months before my move to Ohio) in Upper Arlington with a yard. A yard for dogs! I adopted two yellow labs (mother and son) from a friend in Carlsbad, California. Two dogs who would travel cross country to settle with me in my new home.
I loved Columbus! However, as a single woman I had many people trying to set me up on blind dates. There was a friend at the office that would not take NO for an answer when he asked me if I would accompany a friend of his to a fundraiser. I relented, but I had caveats. I would drive my own car and I would meet this person at his place. In addition I requested that two dear and protective friends of mine, Greg Hall and Sanjay Kakkar be at my house when I arrived home. Greg, Sanjay and I were inseparable and this “date” placed a kink in our standing weekend plans. They were happy to acquiesce and wait for me.
I can’t remember his name, but he was a perfect gentleman. I can’t say there was an electric chemistry, but he was nice. After the event I asked him if he wanted to come to my house for a glass of wine. When we arrived I acted surprised when we discovered Greg and Sanjay sitting on my porch happily sipping a glass of wine. I introduced everyone. We all worked for the same company, but were in different divisions. Greg and Sanjay were uncomfortably protective and were not super receptive to this guy. I thought I would break the ice by bringing Simba and Clancy into the mix (my newly transplanted yellow labs). They were as obnoxious as Greg and Sanjay, but a decent and sufficient buffer to the evening. My date coped by anxiously embibing alcohol. He took note of my intense involvement with my dogs and made the comment: “People that develop an attachment to their animals do so because they are incapable of having healthy relationships with people!” Greg and Sanjay looked at me with wide eyes. They realized this guy had just crossed a very serious off limits line and had just blown his chance with me.
This guys words haunted me for years. I often thought, maybe he is right, perhaps I can’t have healthy relationships. This is where Meg enters my story. I read her book and realized that the intense connection to our pets is not abnormal, but healthy. She discovered that we release oxytocin in the presence of each other which is the same hormone that women produce when breast feeding. The release of oxytocin creates relaxation and bonding. My long awaited exoneration from the cursory comment a blind date made about my connection to my dogs.
I had the opportunity to thank Meg in person when I was involved with the fundraiser, “Dancing for the Dogs” for Talbot Humane Society. Her research provided me with the information that I so desperately needed to explain my deep connection to animals. I was no longer haunted by the comments from someone that knew nothing of me. Perhaps he was frustrated by his inability to make a connection with me that evening. It is possible that he was lashing out in his alcohol induced state. I will never know. What I do know is his words haunted me for years. It wasn’t until I read Meg’s book that I put his words to rest. Her research shed the light on my intense connection to my animals. The shame that I carried for 14 years as a result of one persons insensitive words were exonerated. I can say with confidence that he and I were NOT made for each other!
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